Pregnancy Nose

"There doesn't seem to be any sort of adaptive mechanism to blame for a pregnant woman's sensitivity to certain smells." Brenda Stokes (Baby Center). Michael's theory has something to do with cavewomen using the hormone related sensitivity to smell to stay safe while the men were away and stay clean while pregnant. However, whatever it may have been useful in doing historically it is certainly a deterrent to functioning in modern society.
Maybe it's our body's way of slowing us down or keeping us away from potential hazards. "According to a 2004 study published in Chemical Senses, over 40 percent of pregnant women tested in the first trimester reported increased sensitivity to the smell of cooking odors, cigarette smoke, spoiled food, and perfume." In the first weeks of my pregnancy a sink full of dirty dishes made me sick and kept me out of the kitchen (off my feet a lot more because I wasn’t doing any dishes) for about a month. The litter box or a full garbage can were equally dangerous smells. Obviously, things like that are full of germs and the pregnancy antibodies take a little while to build. There's also chemicals like cleaning products or the worst of all cigarette smoke are certainly potential hazards.
There also the food smells. I remember my cousin telling me she realized she was pregnant when she walked into her parent’s house and the smell of popcorn made her sick. My earliest memory of a food smell that made me sick was greasy breakfast meats. Certainly not the healthiest choice for a pregnant woman. But there's also things like the smell of peanut butter which still bothers me and there's certainly nothing particularly hazardous or unhealthy about that. Maybe there are exceptions to the rule. The other possibility is none of the rational theories apply to hormone induced symptoms, who knows?

Security/Insecurity

I wish I could say that I planned carefully for this baby built up some savings, some maternity leave and found a bigger house. Not how it happened. To sum up a very LONG story. I left my apartment and job with benefits to move in with Michael. I was unable to find steady work for months and by the time I did was pregnant. We all know about that, firing me two weeks shy of finishing my first trimester.
So, what now? I'm supposed to have faith that someone else will support me. It's hard depending on the someone I think. Especially when that someone plays by their own rules, drags their feet and refuses to change course until an actual crisis has occurred (if then)
When I was born my parents had been married over a year, my dad owned his home and both my parents where working full time. I always thought that's the way it would be. I never thought I'd be unemployed, renting a house that's too small and living with someone with very unsteady income as well as raising a 6yr old.
Marriage isn't important to me in relation to having the baby, but I did believe I would at least have an engagement ring by now. Not that that would change anything. I was also hoping to move into a bigger place by the end of summer, which can't happen. So we make due, swap rooms and hope it's temporary. I think the disappointment and sense of insecurity is worse for me because I never wanted this life. I never thought I would be a wife and mother, but I was sure if I was it would be on my terms.
Maybe I'm being tested so that I understand how little it takes for me to be a good parent. Maybe Michael will get the job of a lifetime and all will be right with the world in a few months. Maybe I'll be the breadwinner soon. Maybe we won't make it through this and I'll face the world as a single parent. Maybe the stress will lead to heart attacks on one or both our parts and our family will be left to care for our children. And so on and so forth into eternity...
The uncertainty makes every breath the carrier of doubt and fear. I love Michael and Isaac and I hope every day that we've made the right choices and that the solution is waiting to be discovered. I always wanted more. I wouldn't have ventured 2,000 miles from home for college, lived in several strange cities, etc if the status quo appealed to me. I thought I was making sacrifices to ensure ending up with more. Maybe I will, hard to say as patience has never been my strong suit.
Oh, baby I hope you come home to the home you deserve. I'm waiting for you and I can't wait to meet you. I hope we're ready.

The Love/Hate Relationship With Food

Where to even begin...I have to say I've never been one of those people who loves to eat. It fulfills a need and I certainly had cravings before I got pregnant, but I'd always choose sleep over food (pre-pregnancy). Also, I've never had a "significant period of weight gain" prior to pregnancy either. Only ate when I was hungry, ate until had enough and always had high metabolism.
First trimester I didn't EVER want to eat. My body was exhausted all the time and my stomach was upset all the time. If I did get something to stay down early on it was usually carbs. I loved bagels, cereal, crackers and pretzels. Eating something more substantial was always Russian Roulette. I did begin having serious cravings for red meat in my first trimester. But no matter how hungry I felt or how much I was craving something I could never eat very much before I was full. It was eternally frustrating to Mike who would prepare a beautiful supper, sometimes at my request, and then I'd take 5 bites and be done.
For the most part food and I are getting along much better since my second trimester. I still have days where no matter what we have I want something else. I have a much bigger appetite than I've ever had in my life, but I still don’t gorge on huge meals. I just eat 5-10 times a day. While I no longer throw up if I wait to long to eat the second trimester ushered in a period of hypoglycemic reactions to hunger.
Cravings so far have been mainly fruit and red meat. I've also found myself requesting salads (especially Caesar), French onion dip, rice pudding, Mexican food and lots of milk. My cravings have been pretty consistent from the beginning, but my aversions have changed. In the beginning I couldn't deal with sausage, French fries, peanut butter, anything sweet or chicken. Now I'm happily able to eat and enjoy French fries, limited sweets and chicken (especially nuggets). I also prefer things super plain, more so than before if that's possible, but I think it has to do with hormones heightening my sense of smell.
Now if you'll excuse me it's time to eat, again.

The Pukey Period aka the First Trimester

I started a night job shortly before finding out I was pregnant. I thought I was exhausted because of the backwards schedule. It was a tired like I've never known before. I felt like the only thing I wanted to do at any given moment was sleep. I thought it made alot of sense since I was adjusting to nocturnal life. I figured I was nauseous all the time because I was choosing sleeping over eating on a regular basis. I thought my fainting episode was from low blood sugar. But I had no idea what coming...
The slightly seasick feeling in my stomach never, ever went away. From about week 5 to week 11 or week 12 I was constantly nauseous. Then I'd try to skip a meal to sleep more or so I wouldn't be late for work and the puking started. It was worse at night for me while I was working because that's when I was up, but it NEVER went away.
Thanks to this wee person in my belly causing ridiculous hormone spikes I puked in a public bathroom for the first time in my life, put that one in the baby book mom. I was going through my pregnancy journal the other day to make the timeline for the first post and I was like "You know I puked alot." and Michael was like "ah, yeah." It landed me in the emergency room at 8wks 3days. All that puking caused some severe dehydration. Fun stuff.
A couple things I had to figure out the hard way just for educational purposes: 1)If you feel even the vaguest notion they you might get hungry in the next 20 minutes eat immediately 2)Before you move (even before you pee, which is tricky) you must eat something 3)Drink water every moment you're conscious 4)The first meal of the day must contain carbs or protein (only fruit is NOT an option) 5)Just like a long car ride, home videos can and will trigger a puking episode 6)Plastic bags in your purse and car are your best friend 5)Anxiety and stress will cause you to puke (which raises your stress level, ironically) 7)DO NOT attempt to brush your teeth right after you get sick (holy gag reflex Batman). I used mouthwash instead. 8) Stay away from the garbage cans, expired dairy and a million other smells that were harmless but now send you running for the bathroom 9)Large amounts of food can be overwhelming when your stomach is constantly upset (I had Mike cut my food into smaller portions before I saw it) 10)Food aversions are not a myth, but they change as you get further along (this little one was not a fan of sweets of any kind or chicken in any form until late in my second trimester) 11)Be prepared for the point when talking about the last time you got sick, makes you sick (I'm not making this up). 12) Throwing up becomes your body's way of making you do less, listen!