The Follow Up Appointment

Today was the day I went back to the doctor. Looking at my notes it was pretty amazing 20mins apart, then 10mins apart and then 6min apart before they stopped them. It makes me shutter to think what could have happened.
First, the doctor did a fetal fibronectin test (fFN) which is a test that looks for a protein women produce before going into labor. Here's what the March of Dimes has to say about it: "Fetal fibronectin (fFN) is a protein produced during pregnancy and functions as biological glue, attaching the fetal sac to the uterine lining. During the first trimester and for about half of the second trimester (up to 22 weeks of gestation), fFN is normally present in the cervico-vaginal secretions of pregnant women. In most pregnancies, after 22 weeks, this protein is no longer detected until the end of the last trimester (one to three weeks before labor).
The presence of fFN during weeks 24-34 of a high-risk pregnancy, along with symptoms of labor, suggests that the "glue" may be disintegrating ahead of schedule and alerts doctors to a possibility of preterm delivery."
She also checked my cervix which is thankfully still closed. She says to keep taking the Procardia every 8hrs and stay on the strict bedrest until the results are in from the test. If it's positive they'll up my dose to every 6hrs and keep me on strict bedrest. If it's negative they'll leave the dose the same and "let up a little" on my restrictions.
Ok, I know it's silly, but I left there in tears. I think I was in denial that any of this had happened/was happening. I know I didn't rationally believe she was going to say it was all a huge mistake and to go about my business as usual, but it all feels too real. I knew bedrest was in my future, but I thought I at least had another month. So, this is it for the rest of my pregnancy I stay in bed. Whatever I didn't do before now won't happen. I know I should be happy the baby's healthy, but it's hell not to trust your body to do what it's supposed to.
Michael and I started talking about the long term for the first time today. He has work to do and needs to start working full time outside the house and I need someone to bring me food and make sure the dishes and clothes get washed and Isaac is ok. It's an impossible situation just now and we can't afford for him to stop working or for me to ignore doctor's orders. I've put in a few calls and I'm hoping my mom will be down shortly to help. In the meantime (or if that doesn't happen) we'll do our best. I'm so grateful for the help and visitors I've had so far you have no idea what it means to me! Thank you.